Grief and Loss Therapy in Santa Barbara
Grieving the death of a person we love can feel profoundly daunting and disorienting. Their loss may call us to examine the complexities of the relationship itself. What felt nurturing? What is unresolved? What is deeply missed? Grief is rarely linear or ever fully complete. It often resurfaces again and again as we continue living without the person, encountering milestones, memories, and moments that remind us of their absence.
I offer grief counseling in Santa Barbara and by telehealth throughout California for people navigating the death of a loved one, traumatic loss, and the many quieter losses that shape a life.
When Grief Brings You to Therapy
Grief does not follow a schedule, and it does not always look the way we expect. You may find yourself functioning on the outside while feeling far away on the inside. You may be surprised by anger, guilt, relief, or numbness alongside sadness. You may notice grief resurfacing months or years later, stirred by an anniversary, a song, or a moment you wish you could share.
Therapy is a space to mourn, to have all the feelings, even the ones that feel scary or shameful, to tell the story of the loss, to hold love and pain at the same time, perhaps to conceive of just the right ritual(s), and to make meaning of a relationship that continues even after death.
Traumatic Loss
Some losses are complicated by trauma. Traumatic loss, such as sudden, violent, or unexpected death, can overwhelm the nervous system and disrupt one's sense of safety, coherence, and trust in the world. In these cases, grief may be intertwined with shock, fear, heightened arousal or anxiety, extreme disillusionment or hopelessness, intrusive memories, or a sense that things do not seem real.
Trauma-informed grief therapy, working with the body and physiological arousal, along with space to develop tolerance for what happened can loosen the hold of the trauma.
Grief During Life's Changes
Loss is an inherent part of life, and grief is often an unaddressed process whenever there is meaningful change. Whether related to the changes that come through work in therapy to shed antiquated habits and patterns, or during significant life transitions, relationship changes, or personal growth, grief frequently accompanies the letting go of what once was. In this way, grief is almost always a quiet but powerful current in therapy when change or transformation is underway.
Attending to loss with care and courage can deepen self-understanding, support integration, and allow growth to unfold with greater compassion and wholeness.
Pregnancy and Reproductive Loss
Pregnancy loss is a profound and often invisible grief. Whether you are mourning a miscarriage, a stillbirth, or losses along the fertility journey, this grief deserves the same care and space as any other. I offer dedicated support for fertility and perinatal experiences, and many clients find that grief work and fertility support belong to the same conversation.
How I Work With Grief
My therapeutic approach to grief and loss is integrative and evidence-based, in a style that is warm and attentive. Grief work is not about moving on or letting go on someone else's timeline. Together we make space for your grief, integrate the loss, and explore ritual and relationship so the path forward becomes more whole. Some people come for a defined period following a death; others find that grief becomes a doorway into deeper work. There is no single right way.
This work is grounded in my training as a licensed clinical psychologist (California Board of Psychology, PSY32771) practicing in Santa Barbara. You can read more about my training, approach, and therapeutic modalities here.
Support for Therapists and Healthcare Workers
Grief does not pause for professional responsibilities. If you are a mental health professional or healthcare worker coping with a personal loss while continuing to hold space for others, I offer individual consultation and a dedicated grief process group for psychotherapists.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long does grief counseling take?
There is no set timeline. Some people come for support through the first months after a loss; others return when grief resurfaces around milestones or life changes. We move at your pace.
Is it too late to start therapy if my loss happened years ago?
No. Grief is rarely linear or ever fully complete, and it is common to seek support long after a loss, especially when it resurfaces unexpectedly.
Do you work with traumatic or sudden loss?
Yes. I provide trauma-informed grief therapy that attends to the nervous system as well as the story of the loss, especially after sudden, violent, or unexpected death.
Do you offer grief support after miscarriage or pregnancy loss?
Yes. Pregnancy and reproductive loss is a central part of my work. You can read more about my fertility and perinatal support here.
Can we meet virtually?
Yes. I offer secure telehealth to clients anywhere in California, as well as in-person sessions at my Santa Barbara office. Evening appointments are available.
Begin the Conversation
You do not have to carry your grief alone, and you do not have to have the words for it yet. I offer in-person grief counseling in Santa Barbara and telehealth throughout California.
Fill out some info and I will be in touch shortly to set up a complimentary 15-minute consultation to see if we might be a fit.